Poem: Catharsis

in the beckoning twilight I find the darkness

lax and lazy, complacent, satisfied

loose it reigns, a careless abandon

and I laugh, I laugh and cry

how I found God in a khlysti sermon

so soft and weak, so pale like moonlight

dough between my fingers

a pampered darkness scarcely bleak

gone and away the weight from my chest

the laughing, cawing turns to me

I see myself in me

every vein a hissing snake roaring

shrieking backwards up Yggdrasil’s spine

where there the stellar serpent lies

Nidhogg, swallower of all

keeper of all that dies

sweet dragon of my brood

and there I feel between my hands

there i feel the neck that hollers

pleading, bleeding into me

but i can squeeze now

fingers writhe and palpate

tender embrace of hate

gentle as the silent dawn

killing night with kindness

no more enthralled

the darkness held underneath my knees

eternities come and so they go

but i, in this eternity I remain

sealed in the moment

Blissful innocent, shedding guilt

gleeful to wit the power again is mine

no lips, no screams, just grim malaise

no defiance, no uproar

and there beyond the God’s Eye watches

as above so from below

whispers in the morning

no judgement, fury

no bars to my advance

no recrimination against this death

casualties in a war against my self

the Sun rises and so shall set

I know that darkness will come

with lips agape and set upon me

and i shall give myself to her

eldest among they who stare

queen of the sullen abyss

timeless, shameless, inaccessible, pervasive

there i shall drown in the ravening sea

consumed again by broken waves

the tide of idle longing

and pine again for Sun’s behest

to boil the foam and baptise my heart

draw down the rain and heal the wound

to mend the sea that Moses rent

as I give my self to self again

the one within the all

the all cut off from most

eyeless seer in the deep

shackled in a freedom

deathless struggle

without end

pining

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